i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
they need to just BURY HIM!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She even gives head with a lisp.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize
