Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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