mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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