8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I intend to get homeless drunk
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
