He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
This house was built for laser tag.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
