i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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