We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
