You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
