I just cut my nipple shaving
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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