You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
