I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
