A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
