good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
