hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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