If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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