Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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