I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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