love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
