David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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