absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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