there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
