The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
