Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
