i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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