I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
