We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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