i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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