Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
