He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
