I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
