Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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