Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
