Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
