Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
