He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
