just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
