I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
