He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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