whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
