I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
