So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
