We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You took a bar mat shot.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
