I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How naked do you want me to be?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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