If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
