i think my tv is drunk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
