You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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