Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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