My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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