no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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