when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
